When one of your close friends has a family, you are likely to want to help them as much as you can. Even if you don’t have children yourself, you can probably imagine how tired they must be. But, this could also mean you have no idea how you can actually help the situation.
There are many ways you can help your friend in the first year without overstepping. So, don’t avoid helping just because you are unsure about how you can help. You may even convince yourself that your friend actually means it when they say that they don’t need any help.
Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash
They may not want to admit it but a little bit of help, no matter how small can make a world of difference to how they are feeling or coping. Even if it’s washing up after you’ve had lunch rather than leaving the plates when you leave, or sweeping up the crumbs on the floor from when the kids have eaten. It will go a long way to making their day a little easier.
Let’s have a look at some of the simple ways you can help your friend that has kids:
Be Considerate About Visits
You should never drop by uninvited. This may have been OK before they had kids, but it is likely very not OK now. When you have kids your routine changes, your housework changes, and you go into a little bit of a family bubble. This means that those random stop in’s might not be as appreciated as they once were. It’s not that they don’t want to see you, in fact, they are probably crying out for adult conversation, it’s more about them feeling in control and more prepared for the visit.
If you want to arrange a visit try to give some notice and drop them a text message. Bear in mind that parents probably won’t message back straight away, but this doesn’t mean they have forgotten about you. A lot of new parents lose friends because of this reason, so, try to give them some leeway and understand that their priorities are moving around. It doesn’t mean that they don’t want to be friends.
Take Some Food
If you are visiting, make sure you don’t go empty-handed. Whether they are new parents or already have children, you can’t go wrong by taking some food with you. It could give them the much-needed break they need. You could take some banana oat baby pancakes, some goodies for you to enjoy with a cup of tea, or even order something for lunch, If you’re not staying to eat, it doesn’t mean you can’t take something useful with you. Maybe you could take a few essentials such as fruit or some nice coffee.
Help With Some Errands
When you have a new baby or young kids in the house, it can be more difficult to run the errands that you need to do on time or at all in some situations. Ask your friend if they need anything picked up from the store on the way to theirs, or if they need anything dropped off while you are on your way home. For example, if they have anything to post or they could do with a pint of milk before you arrive. If the new mom has had a c-section, you may even want to offer to drive her anywhere she needs to go in the first 6 weeks, as she won’t be able to drive until she is signed off by the doctor.
Offer To Help Around The House
Can you see a pile of laundry? You can help with that! Some washing up to do next to the sink or a dishwasher to unload? Lend a hand! How about running the hoover around? Anything you can do to help will be greatly appreciated even if they don’t have the chance to tell you how much it did help. Instead of being the friend who sends flowers, or just comes around for a chat, show your friend that you are someone they can rely on when they need you the most.
Distract The Siblings
If your friend has just had a new baby and already has children, it’s going to be a busy household for sure. There will not only be parents getting used to having another child but also children getting used to having a sibling. Sometimes older children can feel a little neglected with a new baby in the house, so think about taking them out so your friend can have a break and they also have some time to themselves too.
These tips should help you to help your friend who has kids. Do you have any other ideas that could help? Please share them in the comments below.
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