Psychologist Ellen Hendrikson once said, “We are each our own worst critics” and this is very often true. We tend to be harder on ourselves than what we are towards others. This self-sabotage can impact on our self-worthiness, and it can even hold us back, especially if it happens regularly. If this sounds like what you’re experiencing, this article will provide you with some ways to easily increase your self-worthiness.
Affirm Your Self-Worth
Make a written list of your attributes that are meaningful in a specific context. For example, if you are a carer, list the qualities you possess that make you a good carer. If you are a friend, which most of us are, list the qualities that make you a good friend. However, also use this in situations where your self-worth has taken a knock back. For example if you didn’t get the job you wanted, list all the qualities that you believe would make you a good employee. Then take one item from the list you made and write a couple of paragraphs about the value of that particular quality, including why others may value it.
Replace Self-Criticism with Self-Compassion
When we feel bad about ourselves, we tend to be more critical about our actions. This can be a vicious cycle that is hard to break. However, if we want to increase our self-worthiness, we need to think self-compassionate thoughts as is mentioned at https://www.coaching-online.org/self-worthiness/. By replacing self-criticism with self-compassion, we are increasing our self-worthiness with positive thoughts about ourselves.
If someone was self-critical about themselves, a good friend would counteract this negativity by highlighting their positive aspects. So if you’re finding it difficult to give yourself self-compassion, imagine your friend is the one facing the criticism you are giving yourself. Whatever you would say to them, say to yourself, even if this means standing in front of a mirror to focus on you. Focus on what you’re telling yourself and, more importantly, believe in what you’re saying.
Learn to Accept Compliments
A lot of us struggles with this one. How many times has someone paid you a compliment, and you have returned one back or refused to accept it? When we struggle with our self-worth, accepting compliments are even harder to do because our opinion of ourselves is already low. Think of phrases of acceptance that you can use when you are next paid a compliment. A simple “Thank you” will do, or you could reply with, “That’s very kind of you to say.” You don’t need a long speech. Something short will suffice as long as it’s sincere. Keep reminding yourself of these phrases and when they should be used. The idea is the more you are familiar with this, the more chance you will use them instead of rejecting a compliment. Compliments boost the recipient’s morale, so allow yourself to experience this.
Develop your Competencies
We can work on building our self-worthiness by working on ability and achievement in aspects of our lives that matter to us. If you take pride in your home, then do your next home improvement. If you enjoy reading, set yourself a reading target or join a book club. If you enjoy keeping active, then join a local walking club. Focus on your core competencies and continue to work on them. Through this you will improve your self-worth and may even find new hobbies or interests to do.
Part of improving your self-worth is accepting that no one, including yourself, is perfect. We are all prone to making mistakes. It’s how we deal with them that makes a difference to our self-worth. Learning from our mistakes encourages us to grow as people. It also allows us to advise others based on our experiences. No one likes making mistakes, but we all do. Accepting this is part of our learning curve and understanding the lesson we have learned help us move on.