As parents, we find ourselves experiencing conflicting emotions. We try to be everything to our children, but we can fall at the first hurdle before we’ve even got out of bed. The constant forward momentum provided by extracurricular activities, holding down your own job, and trying to be a supportive parent, all while looking after yourself, means that everybody falls prey to bad habits. This is why we have to be aware of the habits that will truly be detrimental in the long run. Here are some that you should address.
The Unhealthy Treat at the End of a Hard Day
We can tell ourselves that we had a “hard day” every day. If the children haven’t slept great or we have had a very rough commute, every little thing can add up to a tough day. Therefore we feel that it wouldn’t just be nice to have something that we like but we deserve it. There is nothing wrong with a treat after a tough day but the problem is when this treat becomes too regular. You may tell yourself you had a hard day, but when you compare it to harder days in the past, you will not necessarily have justified that treat for yourself.
However, it’s important to think about what the treat really constitutes. If you find yourself needing something to unwind, you’ve got to be conscious of the long-term impacts, especially if it results in addiction. If you have any concerns, https://www.sunshinebehavioralhealth.com/colorado/grand-junction/ can help. An unhealthy treat is something we’re all entitled to, but the best approach is to stick to a ratio of 90% healthy and 10% unhealthy.
Viewing Life as a Constant Crisis
Having children means that we will find ourselves hitting obstacles that were not apparent in the slightest. Your child could wake you up at 4 am, but you could still be running late for school at 8:30. And when we start to react to every single stressor with the same attitude it’s going to overwhelm us. Having a meltdown is a normal response when it’s just too much, but you have to remember that there will be things beyond your control. If your children see you reacting to the littlest of situations, they will not know how to react in a healthy way.
It’s important that we teach our children resilience but if we are constantly overreacting, or we think that life is just too stressful, we are going to start freaking out at the littlest thing. This guide on https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14874/how-to-stop-freaking-out-all-the-time.html/ can help. While we are all prone to feeling a bit too much, we’ve got to realize that we could be prone to exaggerating in our minds. Life is not a constant crisis but if we view it accordingly, we will start to believe this. One of the best ways to kick this habit is to assign a situation a number on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 is an incident that will have no effect on the quality of your life, for example, your child misplacing their shoes, and 10 is a real emergency. Once you’ve got this in your head, you need to tell yourself to not freak out over anything that is less than 8 out of 10.
We all feel that in order to get our message across, we’ve got to change our tone. If someone doesn’t listen to us the first time, we feel that we’ve got to start scrutinizing. The problem is that when our children make a mistake and we emphasize the littlest things these little critiques are going to outweigh any positives. As a result, our children could start to ignore us or they could get defensive which means that they will build up a wall between us and them. But also nitpicking can be detrimental to their self-confidence.
If they tidy their room but they don’t do it “right,” they will stop trying to do anything because they are worried they will disappoint us. Or, they could end up becoming a perfectionist meaning that anything less than 100% is pointless. You need to focus on giving them more praise. If they have done something that’s less than adequate in your eyes, it’s better to offer assistance in the area.
As parents, we can find ourselves projecting onto our children because we are either trying to push them to be better than us but we can also find we are struggling with the pressures of the modern day. If we want to raise healthy children, we’ve got to tread the balance between the things we do, the habits we form, and also ensuring that if we ever feel overwhelmed that we manage our anxiety in the right ways.